Insightful, pointed, funny quotes from Steve Jobs are flying over the web (many through Apple inventions). The ones I keep coming back to: Do what you love. Do what’s truly interesting to you.

I can only imagine what some said when he quit college and took a calligraphy class. Ten years later, he has Apple create fonts.

But even if he didn’t, would it matter? Does everything we do have to have something to show for it, a concrete result, a high return on our investment? What’s so bad about “wasting time?” I doubt, had he never sparked fonts, that Steve Jobs regretted taking that class. I doubt that every interest he followed led to a spectacular innovation. And the world is better for his diversions…certainly his life was.

I am far from perfect at this. Hearing him speak was a wake-up call for me. I just came back from a marvelous trip overseas, and promptly put myself to the grindstone to make up the “lost time.” I realized that I was making my own world more…narrow. So this week is about connecting with friends, gardening in our summer-like weather, and yes, getting work done—but with a focus on the work I love, making the best contribution I can make, not the grindstone.

Are you doing what fascinates you? Causes you to smile? Quickens your heart?

What are you waiting for?

Hello all! Just a friendly reminder that if you are in the DC metro area on January 31, there will be a free two hour workshop in Reston offered by the Strozzi Institute. When they offered a similar seminar two years ago, it fully booked with a waiting list. There are still a few spots left, so if you’re interested, register now at: http://www.strozziinstitute.com/workshops

For more information on why I recommend this workshop, see my blog post from December.

Happy New Year! It’s that time again. People are making resolutions with great intentions—and let them go pretty early on. I am not immune but I have gotten better over the years. I thought I’d share my top ten tips for making New Year’s resolutions work:

1. Set goals not resolutions. A great social worker I know, Jeanne Mitchler-Fiks, gave me this advice years ago and it has made a huge difference for me personally and for my clients. Making a goal recognizes the reality that you’re on a path to achieving something but not there yet. Resolutions can connote something more absolute—are you exercising three times a week or not? And when you make it to the gym once, you are not fulfilling your resolution, so why keep going?
2. Set goals that are meaningful to you. Are you saving money because you know you are supposed to? Or because you want to travel to Argentina, give to causes you care about, or save for a child’s education? Rooting your goals in a deeper underlying meaning, something that speaks to your heart, energizes you to stay on track.
3. Aim for 1-2 goals, not 10. Malcolm Gladwell cites in Outliers that it takes 10,000 repetitions to master a skill. Because it takes time to learn something or make a behavior part of your routine, focus on a few things that are most important to you.
4. Start where you are. Remember when you learned to brush your teeth. How long did it take before you automatically did it, wouldn’t think of skipping? That’s where practice comes into play. Those 10,000 repetitions engrain behaviors until they are automatic. So, if you are just starting to go to the gym, set a goal that’s realistic based on where you are today, not as if you have gone five days a week for years!
5. Recognize if you are a beginner. The difference between never exercising or meditating to doing it at all is actually pretty significant. I have clients who beat themselves up because they “only” went once last week, “only” meditated once in a month, when that’s real progress. So, recognize the stretch you’re making.
6. Plan for incremental progress. Set a goal for the year, and then plan for a reasonable step you can achieve short term. I had at one point a daily meditation practice but fell off the wagon in 2010. I am committed to meditating 20 minutes a day, five days a week by December. But to restart, I will commit to 15 minutes twice a week and work my way up.
7. Find a buddy. Another coach and I developed our goals together, and will check in regularly to help each other stay on track throughout 2011.
8. Reflect mid-year. I revisit my goals to reflect on what I have learned, to see if they are still relevant to me, ajdust course as it makes sense, and see the progress I have made.
9. Celebrate progress. Congratulations! You have some repetitions under your belt. How are you going to pat yourself on the back for how far you’ve come?
10. Have fun! How can you have fun as you fulfill your goals? Reward yourself after you meet a milestone? Meet your buddy someplace fun? Making goals less of a chore and more fun helps us fulfill and enjoy life.

I wanted to let you know of a free workshop that is one of those few examples of getting far more than what you paid for.

On January 31st from 7-9 PM, the Strozzi Institute of CA is offering a free two hour workshop here in DC metro area (Reston, to be specific). The workshop is called “Strozzi Somatics in Leadership & Coaching.”

For those of you I have worked with more recently, Strozzi Institute is where I have learned the practices we’ve used to develop leadership presence/effectiveness, to be more grounded and centered in chaos, and to better manage ourselves/our emotions to achieve our goals.  Whether you are a sole practitioner, managing a large team/business, or in transition-these are crucial skills.

Strozzi Institute, based in Petaluma CA, is probably the best leadership training I have ever taken. I have taken many of their courses, got certified in their techniques and continue to study with them. These are not touchy feely BS courses. If we’ve talked about the book The Leadership Dojo, the author Richard Strozzi-Heckler is the founder of the Strozzi Institute. He’s a former marine, a black belt several times over in Aikido, and a PhD in Psychology. Richard has worked with senior military, corporate, non-profit/social justice leaders all over the world-again, no BS here.

Richard will be leading this free workshop-a very rare event, and a great way to learn and get exposure to Strozzi without flying to CA.

Registration is required, to manage the room size etc. I fully expect this to be a full course, so if you’re interested, register now at: http://www.strozziinstitute.com/workshops

Business partnerships can be a source of tremendous strength, strategic advantage, and fun—if attended to and cared for properly. Here are my top ten tips for making business partnerships work:

1. Know the purpose. What is the higher goal that both of you are invested in, that brings you together in the first place? Having a clear purpose strengthens and energizes partnerships, and guides you when times are tough.
2. Know your strengths and weaknesses. What tasks are you each best at? Worst? How do you complement each other? Where might you both need help and how will you get it?
3. Know the market. What is the going rate for the contributions each of you is making? Do you both perceive your arrangement to be fair and equitable?
4. Set clear expectations. What does each of you bring to the table? Who is responsible for what? How will you work together?
5. Establish how you will make decisions. For each type of decision, define who is responsible; who has veto/approval power; who simply needs to be informed and who needs to provide what support.
6. Follow the ‘no festering’ rule. It’s not conflict that kills a partnership. Conflict is inevitable. Letting unresolved disagreements fester can kill your relationship. Agree to bring up issues as soon as you notice them, and to set aside time to talk no matter what.
7. Be honest with yourself and your partner. If you have an issue, raise it. If you see a challenge, name it. See ‘no festering’ rule above.
8. Go for the ‘win-win.’ Keep working the inevitable challenges until you find solutions that both of you feel positive about. To have one party win and another lose in any argument/situation can breed resentment.
9. Check in on the state-of-the-union. Set a schedule, perhaps quarterly, to review how you’re working together, how well you’re meeting the purpose of the partnership, and what’s next for you together.
10. Have fun! Remember why you agreed to work together, and enjoy!

This week’s topic

Intriguing research on what truly motivates people, based on an animated executive summary on YouTube of Dan Pink discussing his book Drive.

Summary:

Pink is debunking the commonly accepted theory that organizations can motivate knowledge workers by carrots and sticks, by incentive compensation. He presents compelling evidence that higher incentives actually led to worse performance for complex, creative tasks.  Purpose, challenge, automony/self-direction, mastery, making a contribution…these are the things that truly motivate people.

The insight for your own career:

I hear a lot from coaching clients who are really unhappy with their pay. They pin their strategies around getting a better salary, benefits, a bonus. I’m the last person who will argue that pay is irrelevant (and Pink doesn’t argue that either). But will a higher salary really make you happier at work? Is that all it will take? Or do you need more autonomy, greater challenges, to feel like you are making a contribution?

More often than not, my coaching clients and I discover they’re motivated by a lot more than money, and that addressing their compensation alone is only a partial solution at best.

The insight for managers:

Money can be a red herring in the workplace. It is easier and more socially acceptable in modern culture to complain, “I’m not paid enough.” It can be harder to talk about wanting to have work with meaning, to seek out challenges, to make contributions. All of that can come across as more ambiguous, touchy-feely, idealistic, and perhaps even selfish.

If you’re managing people who are asking you for raises you cannot give, then perhaps you can look deeper to what motivates each team member—and make it easier for them to describe their motivations beyond compensation.

A warning though: Let’s not kid ourselves here. Compensation is still important. If the pay is too low, then people won’t focus on the work. The point is, think broadly about motivation because increasing compensation alone may not lead to more engaged staff.

The exercise:

Ask yourself/your team:

What do you really enjoy about your work? When do you thrive? Consider both the end product and the process to get there.

Aside from pay, what else do you really dislike about your work? Consider: the degree it’s challenging; the amount of autonomy; how much you learn; how you work (the processes).

To learn more:

• Contact Us at Diamond Insight to set up a free consultation about how to engage yourself and your team
• View an animated summary on YouTube of Dan Pink discussing his book Drive
• Read Dan Pink’s book Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us

Work life balance is a source of great day-to-day stress. While there is no strict set of rules, exploring the following steps can serve us well…

1. Aim for integration, not balance. The word ‘balance’ can set up a tug of war: family versus work, self-care versus friends. Instead, reframe: you are integrating parts of your life into a whole that works for you, through the ongoing choices you make.
2. Know your own values and priorities. Get perspective: In 50 years, what will make you smile, make you feel fulfilled as you look back on your life? Think of work, relationships, communities, and all that you care about.
3. Be honest—how well are you walking the talk today? OK, there’s what we say we value, and there’s what we do. How does the way you spend your time today align with what you value overall?
4. How well does your role model fit your situation? My neighbor was really upset last weekend, having just burned cupcakes for her daughter’s class (the dangers of multi-tasking). When I suggested buying store-bought, she was shocked. Her mother certainly wouldn’t have, but then her mother didn’t commute for an hour on a good day or have a full time demanding job outside her home—apples and oranges anyone?
5. Are you trying to get the “A”? Sometimes we set standards for ourselves, independent of role models, that just exceed what is truly required. Are you habitually trying for the A yet feeling guilty when that doesn’t pane out? The irony is we can’t get an A in everything—C’s are inevitable in our complicated lives, so choose where to get that C.
6. Self care is not selfish as Erma Bombeck said.  Running full tilt on an “energy deficit” hurts not just ourselves but those around us. Protect some sacred time to take care of yourself, even if it is only 15 minutes a day, and commit to doing it for the sake of yourself and your loved ones.
7. Make tools work for you. Technology can help us integrate work and life—unless we become slaves to the tools. Set boundaries that serve you with your cell phone, email, ‘crackberry,’ etc.
8. If you over-commit, then ‘commit to commit.’ If you say yes too often, buy yourself time when someone makes a request. Say “I’ll have to check first, but will get back to you by (a specific time).” Then figure out how their request fits with your priorities and other commitments, so you can say yes, counter-offer, or say no—in the context of what is important to you.
9. When you struggle, what would you tell a good friend in your situation? We can be more compassionate with our friends than ourselves.
10. Be gentle with yourself. Remember, integrating work and life is a day-to-day evolution. And ask for help. Family, friends, kids, cleaning services, etc. can provide support, but only if you ask…