Second in a series based on Resilience in the Moment of Choice: Speaking our Truth, the session I conducted at George Mason University’s conference Living and Leading with Resilience.

Today’s topic

Earlier, I blogged about How can we speak our truth, and speak it powerfully?, giving practical exercises to help us take stands effectively by aligning the messages our body sends—the non-verbal cues—with our content.

My point is based on the premise that focusing on how we respond to our fight/flight/freeze instincts can help us take powerful stands in our conversations. Even if our words communicate our message precisely, people listen more to the non-verbal cues. In essence, how we speak—our tone, our presence—can communicate even more than what we say.

Today’s topic is some of the scientific research that supports this premise.

What if I am a skeptic?

We hear a lot of talk, sometimes grounded, sometimes pseudo-science, about the mind-body-spirit connection. So if you are a skeptic, join the club. I have a rather skeptical mind, too. I fear the power of the urban myths and groupthink, commonly accepted wisdom, more ungrounded and touchy-feely ‘believe it because it sounds so good’ theories. So I have not been an easy convert to the mind-body-spirit connection, or a disciple of any and all theories.

That said, I am also fairly practical and utilitarian. If something works, use it. And my own practical experience with the intersection of mind-body-spirit has really shifted my life for the better. I am more skilled at taking stands, speaking my own truth, stepping up to the plate. Not always easily, but for the better nonetheless.

So I started exploring the research with a more open mind. I suggest it might be interesting even for—especially for?—my fellow skeptics, to see what the research has to say.

What are some of key findings?

Mandy Blake, an insightful colleague of mine, is writing an intriguing book exploring recent research in neuroscience and its impact on how we live and lead. I strongly recommend her forthcoming book, Your Body Is Your Brain: The New Science of Cultivating Purpose, Resilience, and Connection and will let you all know when it’s published. In the meantime, visit her website to read the book’s Introduction or sign up for advance notice of publication.

When I wanted to review current research, and sift the wheat from the chaff, I sought Mandy out. Among all the fascinating research we discussed, two findings really popped out for me.

1. How we speak can matter more than the words we say

Albert Mehrabian, now a professor emeritus of psychology at UCLA, conducted a series of studies in 1967. His research showed that in emotional conversations, the non-verbal cues communicate far more than words/content. In fact, when the words say one thing but your tone or facial expressions say another, others listen to your body 93% of the time.

7% Words + 38% Tone + 55% Facial expression

Consider the statement “I’m not mad.” Consider hearing it from someone with a pleasant expression, relaxed stance, and conversational tone. Then consider hearing it from someone who is frowning, has tense shoulders, and a clipped tone. Which do you trust?

There’s a limit on this of course. This formula is often misused and misquoted. A key point is that Mehrabian’s research was on emotional conversations, not all communication. (Listen to an amusing and disconcerting BBC interview with the professor on how he “cringes” when his formula is misused—as it has been regularly). Our content, especially in problem solving settings or just communicating clear directions, obviously matters more than 7%!

However, in our moments of choice, when we could speak truth to power, when we might be swimming against the strong current of groupthink, when we might be a bull in the china shop—well, I’d say there is likely an emotional undercurrent to our conversation. Our non-verbal messages may communicate less than 93%, and our words more than 7%. But how we communicate with our bodies still has impact, and it behooves us to pay attention to that and not just prepare our words and content…

For a detailed description on Mehrabian’s research, see his website. For more on these studies in particular, see his book Silent Messages, published in 1981.

2. Changing how we stand can help us be more powerful

A recent study from professors at Harvard and Columbia universities linked how we physically stand to how we act in the world.

“A person can, by assuming two simple 1-minute poses, embody power and instantly become more powerful.”[1]

Across species, power and social dominance is expressed through an open and expansive body posture, and a lack of power is expressed through a narrow and closed posture. Think standing tall versus slumping down. Think of the people who ‘own the room,’ those who people consistently turn and listen to.

But what is the cause and what’s effect? Do you stand tall because you feel powerful? Or do you feel powerful because you stand tall? The research team tested to see if that open, expansive pose actually causes a person to be more powerful.

It turns out that when our parents told us to stand up straight, they were on to something. The research team asked some to stand in an open posture for 60 to 90 seconds, and others in a closed posture. Their research found that after standing in open posture for a minute, people:

• Had lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol, and increased testosterone in both men and women
• Reported an increased sense of agency, self-control, and power
• Had greater behavioral risk tolerance in the experiment’s gambling tasks

Now, this study is preliminary and has not been replicated. However, the research findings were robust. (And all you researchers out there, this would be a great topic to explore further, please!)

So how do I translate that research into something I can do?

What shows up in our body impacts conversation and our ability to speak up. Simply focusing on content might not be sufficient. Being more resilient in the conversation means centering, reframing our mindset, and practicing how we hold ourselves. See my last blog entry for practices you can do based on this research.

Speaking with power is, in fact, a habit we can develop with practice and attention. And doing so builds our resilience and capacity to speak our truth, when it matters most.